Issue #007

by SAMX | 11 comments

The replies to “What’s your most Gen X confession?” absolutely broke me!

In the best possible way of course.

You’ll see why in a minute.

Now…

Let’s get into it.

This issue runs on coffee.

Not the artisanal, ethically massaged, single-origin, hand-whispered-to-the-beans kind.

The kind that simply gets you through the week.

// WE DIDN’T NEED A RITUAL. WE NEEDED COFFEE.

Somewhere along the way, mornings became a performance.

Cold plunge.
Drink 64 ounces of water before speaking.
Journal.
Meditate.
Take seventeen supplements.
Do breathwork.
Visualize success.
Manifest abundance.
Watch a sunrise while listening to a billionaire explain discipline.

Then—go to work and spend the rest of the day wondering where all your time went.

People film this.

People post this.

People argue in the comments about the correct way to wake up.

Meanwhile, Gen X had a morning routine too.

It went something like this:

Coffee.
Leave.

That was it.

No protocol.

No optimization.

No laminated checklist.

Just a mug—usually chipped, usually older than one of your kids.

We weren’t trying to become our best selves before 8:00 a.m.

We were just trying to become conscious.

Coffee handled the rest.

Nobody told us it was a “mindfulness ritual.”

Nobody called it a “productivity hack.”

Nobody made a 14-part video explaining the neuroscience of the first sip.

It was coffee.

It woke you up.

End of seminar.

And somehow, on that incredibly sophisticated system, we built careers, raised families, repaired cars, survived recessions, dial-up internet, and meetings that could’ve been an email.

One mug.

Zero hashtags.

No morning coach required.

Maybe the secret was never having the perfect routine.

Maybe it was knowing that you don’t have to earn the right to start your day.

Sometimes you just wake up…

…drink your coffee…

…and get on with it.

Very Gen X.

Now I’m curious.

How do you take your coffee?

Black? Enough cream to confuse the beans? The same chipped mug you’ve had since Clinton was in office?

Or are you one of those dangerous people who willingly drinks instant?

Hit reply.

I’m betting the stories are better than the answers.

// WAIT… WHAT?

Instant coffee was once considered one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.

Before it became the butt of coffee jokes, it was a genuine breakthrough. During World War II, the U.S. military shipped millions of servings overseas because it was lightweight, shelf-stable, and could deliver caffeine almost anywhere.

Then Gen X came along.

Our parents weren’t buying instant coffee because they thought it was gourmet.

They were buying it because it worked.

At 5:45 a.m., with three kids, two jobs, a mortgage, and exactly zero patience, nobody was grinding artisan beans.

Instant coffee wasn’t a downgrade.

It was survival with hot water.

Be honest…

Is there still a dusty jar of Folgers Crystals hiding somewhere in your pantry?

No judgment.

Okay… maybe a little.

Affectionate judgment.

Speaking of coffee and Gen Xers, this week’s GenX Spotlight features someone who decided our generation deserved something a whole lot better…

// GENX SPOTLIGHT

NOTE: This isn’t an affiliate promo. It’s not sponsored. Nobody paid to be here. It’s just something—or someone—I think is worth putting in front of other GenXers. If I genuinely like it, you’ll find it here.

RANDY CLAIBORNE

Army Veteran · Founder, GenXGuy Coffee

Randy Claiborne knows bad coffee better than most.

The Army made sure of that.

He spent enough mornings standing in chow halls with a steaming cup of something that technically qualified as coffee, but only because nobody had invented a stronger word for “hot caffeine.”

It wasn’t made to be enjoyed. It was made to keep you moving.

Most people would have forgotten about it.

Randy didn’t.

Years later, he looked around the coffee world and noticed something strange.

Every generation had a brand speaking directly to them.

Millennials had theirs. Boomers had theirs. Even Gen Z had theirs.

Generation X? We got ignored.

Again.

So Randy did what Gen X has always done.

He stopped waiting for someone else to notice us.

He built it himself.

It’s coffee built by one of us, for all of us.

Five blends. Three roasts.

Every one named after a piece of the Gen X experience.

Latchkey Blend

— mild, full-bodied, light roast.
For the generation that learned responsibility before most people learned our names.

Hose Water Blend

— chocolate, brown sugar, dried cherry.
Surprisingly complex. Comfortingly familiar. Like the best parts of growing up in the ’80s and ’90s.

Neglect Blend

— honey and cocoa, medium roast.
Quietly celebrates the generation that turned independence into a superpower.

Platinum Reserve Instant

— caramel, dark chocolate.
Doesn’t waste your time—because adulthood rarely does either.

Sarcasm Fuel

— bold Indonesian dark roast.
Exactly the amount of attitude you’d expect from a generation fluent in eye rolls.

No gimmicks. No paid influencer energy.

But his TikToks are pretty dope.

Just dependable coffee branded by someone who knows exactly what bad coffee tastes like and decided our generation deserved better.

The names make you smile.
The coffee makes you come back.

That’s because Randy didn’t build a novelty brand.

He built a great coffee company that just happens to speak our language.

Maybe that’s why this story deserves the spotlight.

Not because Randy sells coffee.

Because he saw a generation that had been overlooked yet again and decided to create something that finally felt like it belonged to us.

That’s a very Gen X thing to do.

No fanfare.

No permission.

No waiting around for someone else to fix it.

Just quietly building something worth believing in.

And honestly…

We’ve earned a coffee that gets us.

Support GenX, Grab Some Today!

genxguycoffee.com

code GENXCOFFEE for 10% off

And seriously—go check out Randy’s TikTok. The coffee’s great, but the videos are pretty dope too. Equal parts Gen X nostalgia, humor, and caffeine.

→ TikTok: GenXGuy Coffee

(Community spotlight. Randy is building something real. That’s the whole reason he’s here. Do you know a genxer who belongs in the spotlight? Reply and let me know!)

// CONFESSION BOOTH Anonymous. Unedited.

Anonymous. Unedited. Probably cheaper than therapy.

You folks… never cease to amaze me.

I asked for anonymous confessions. You fired away.

Some of you sent jokes.

Some of you sent head spinning flashbangs.

Here’s a few.

“Stole my dad’s car when I was fourteen. Drove it around the block three times at two in the morning. Put it back exactly where it was. He never noticed the mileage.”

“My kids think I was this straight-edge mom in the nineties. Truth is I was doing ecstasy most weekends while my mother watched them. They were little. I’d come home at 6 a.m., shower, and make pancakes like nothing happened. They still talk about those pancakes.”

“My friends and I broke into the middle school at night in eighth grade. We didn’t take anything. Just walked the halls with flashlights like we owned the place. Left through the same window we came in. School never even knew.”

“I still expect to get in trouble when someone says they need to talk to me.”

“I always told my kids I walked everywhere growing up because it built character. Truth is I just didn’t wanna ask anyone for a ride. Having to talk small talk to somebody in the car freaked me the f**k out more than walking did.”

That last one. We’ve all done some version of that one.

If something in here cracked you open a little, that’s the whole point.

If something in here cracked you open a little — that’s the whole point. Send yours. Anonymous. One to three sentences. Funny, emotional, unhinged — your call.

→ samxers.com/confessional

Nobody will know it was you. I promise.

And if none of these hit you, which one came closest?

That’s useful to know too.

// SIGNAL BOOST

The Comfort Crisis — Michael Easter

Science journalism, not self-help.

The central question: what did we lose
when we engineered discomfort out of daily life?

Easter spends the book examining what happens to people — physically, mentally — when they go without convenience for a while.

Cold. Hunger. Boredom. Effort.

Turns out a lot of what we complain about losing from “back then” wasn’t nostalgia.
It was actual physiological and psychological benefit we didn’t know we were getting.

We didn’t grow up trying to build resilience.
We just lived in a world that hadn’t removed
the friction yet.

This book explains why that mattered more than we knew.

Find it anywhere books are sold.

// HILL I’M WILLING TO DIE ON

The self-checkout machine has no business speaking to me the way it does.

I’m willing to bet that each and everyone of you have had some version of this happen to you.

“Please place item in the bagging area.”

I DID.

“Unexpected item in bagging area.”

UUUUUUGGGHHH… It’s the item YOU told me to put there.

“Please wait for assistance.”

Now a 19-year-old named Kyler has to come over and unlock the machine because I dared to buy cold medicine and a yellow onion in the same transaction.

Meanwhile, the machine is yelling:

“REMOVE ITEM FROM BAGGING AREA!”

There is no item. Kyler confinrmed.

There never was.

We’re just making accusations now.

By the time I leave, I’ve scanned my rewards card four times, confirmed I don’t want to donate to six different charities, declined the store credit card twice, proved I’m old enough to buy NyQuil, and somehow feel like I failed an IQ test.

I came here for an onion.

I left feeling personally judged by a glorified cash register.

That’s not progress.

// GENX ON TIKTOK — FOLLOW THIS HUMAN

There are approximately 9,000 people on TikTok telling you to:

Optimize your morning.
Monetize your passion.
Unlock your seven-figure mindset.
Buy a course that’s somehow “only” $997.

…and then there’s B-Rad.

B-Rad is a fellow ’71 Gen Xer who posts the kind of videos that make you chuckle when you least expect it.

Funny.

Authentic.

Zero motivational-guru energy.

And every now and then, right in the middle of making you chuckle, he’ll casually drop a line of wisdom that sneaks past your defenses.

For example, other than his regular reminder, “Don’t be a douchebag” he recently offered this masterpiece to the internet:

“Never stick your finger anywhere you don’t want your nose.”

Read that again.

That’s not just funny.

That’s Life advice for…

Relationships.
Business deals.
Facebook arguments.
Thanksgiving dinner.
Reply-all emails.
That sketchy “this’ll only take five minutes” home diy project.

Ten words.

And a lifetime of bad decisions avoided.

B-Rad is pure GenX chill, and he’s exactly the kind of creator we should be cheering on.

Go give him a follow. While you do…

Let’s have some fun, do me a favor…

→ TikTok: @b_radical55

// GENX CODE #007

We didn’t have a morning routine.

We had a minimum system requirement.

Coffee.
Keys.
Wallet.
Pants.

If you remembered all four, the day had a fighting chance.

// THE HOUSE PARTY — UPDATE 7

Still cooking.

Coffee helps, actually.
Most good decisions in my life have happened within an hour of a fresh pot.

This might be one of them.

More soon.

// SIGNING OFF

The response to Confession Booth already tells me this is becoming more than a newsletter.

It’s becoming our corner of the internet.

And I love that.

So keep the confessions coming.

The funny ones.
The ridiculous ones.
The ones you’ve never actually said out loud.

Now, one question before I go…

What does your morning really look like?

Not the Instagram version.

Not the “if I had my life together” version.

The real one.

The snooze-button, cold-coffee, where-are-my-keys, forgot-why-I-walked-into-the-kitchen version.